Author: Patrick Alexander Page 7 of 10

Insufficient Stories

On January 5, 2015

Insufficient Stories is the title I’ve given to a project I’ve been working on bit by bit, little by little, for a few years now. I started writing tiny little stories in my free time; they accumulated; I did some live readings; I kept writing them; and now I’ve made videos of them. I decided I would make these videos once I had 31 stories: one story each day for a whole month; like a Bible devotional but funnier. But after recording the videos I discovered I’d miscounted, so there’s 32.

The shortest of these stories is eight words; the longest is 1900-odd. In a slightly-more-than-a-month-long special event, they will be published on this website (with full text) and on my tumblr (video only), one story per day, starting January 12th and ending February 12th. (You could also follow along by subscribing to my youtube channel.)

I’m eager and excited to read these stories to you, in pre-recorded form! They are funny and weird and people like them, and at one point, I believe I may have written the most beautifully executed pussy joke in the history of the form. It’s pretty high-level but I’m confident that by the time we get there, you’ll be well convinced of my genius and, for that reason, paying close attention. If we work together we can pull it off I reckon. But just in case you’re not up to it, please share these videos with all your friends and followers. Let’s journey together into etc. etc.

Oh and even though it’s just videos of a dude sitting in a room, reading at the camera from a book, I expect to receive Insufficient Stories fan art before the slightly-more-than-a-month is out; I want to be quite firm about that from the outset, thank you.

You can now buy prints.

By Patrick Alexander

On September 18, 2014

In Uncategorised

Truly announcing my deeply official society6 store:

Patrick Alexander Monetises His Assets!

Right now boasting a shitload of art prints, hopefully including all the pictures from recent-ish years about which you have said to me, “I’d love to buy a print of that.” But if not, please tell me what’s missing — I’ll clean it up and make it available. (This invitation includes comic pages too, not just illustrations.)

I can put these pictures on other products as well, like t-shirts, smartphone cases, wall clocks and so on, but they require a little extra design work, so if there’s something in particular you’d like to see, let me know.

So! This is nice.

PIN ME TO YOUR WALL.

You might be an Introvert if…

By Patrick Alexander

On August 17, 2014

In Writing

Do you spend more time on the internet than you should? Does the sudden brutal stabbing murder of a loved one give you feels? Can you remember at least one incident from high school that bothered you in some way? Relax; you’re not crazy — you’re an introvert! Welcome to the club!

Still not sure? Take a look at these telltale signs, compiled by someone who nearly looked up ‘introvert’ in a dictionary.

You read books

Only introverts know how to read. If you enjoy this quirky, archaic pastime, you might just be an introvert!

You go shopping by yourself

Sure, it seems pretty ‘weird’, but you can do without the normal entourage required to pop down the shops for milk and bread. You see a gang of twelve to fifteen fashionable kids crowded in the freezer aisle, gabbing into their mobile phones while all cooperatively picking up the same packet of frozen peas and placing it into their single shared trolley and think, “No thanks; I like cats!”

You like cats

Or dogs. Or one single dog. Anything mammalian, really, and birds too even. Most people punch a baby rabbit in the face every morning before breakfast, so if you see a baby rabbit and go, “Aw, so cute,” you’re probably an introvert.

You like to stay at home

Normal people literally explode if they stay in the same room for more than an hour, which is why they’re always dancing in the street, paragliding, swimming to the moon etc. If you get home from a hard day’s work and just want to relax on the couch with a hot cup of tea, guess what, you big ol’ introvert? That’s right it means you are one.

You’re intelligent, creative and thoughtful

Wouldn’t you know it, introverts are all of these! Heaps more than the average ‘popular’ moron.

You have a rich inner world

Your inner world is just so rich, what with all of your observations about things; it’s a pity most people are too busy going “Blah blah blah, shopping, television!” to notice. But someone willing to humbly defer to your hidden genius will discover that you are a brilliant conversationalist who knows about a band.

You need your quiet time and personal space

Extroverts sometimes run up to you, wild-eyed, and just start yelling; just “AAAAARGH!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!!!” at the top of their lungs, their face an inch away from your own. Most people would be like, “Who’s this sexy extrovert? I wanna get down with this person,” but an introvert like you is more likely to think, “Yikes! I’m uncomfortable.”

So if you’re an introvert, don’t worry! There are others like you, out there somewhere, suffering the same nearly-monthly indignity of someone saying, “Are you okay?” or “Wow, you came!” to them. Just remember: being an introvert makes you special and interesting, like a black or a gay. Let’s show some introvert pride!

Medicare Co-payments Infographitoon

By Patrick Alexander

On July 15, 2014

In Illustration

I collaborated with some fellow political tragics on this info-thing about the Abbott government’s proposed changes to Medicare and the pharmaceutical benefits scheme, based on this study from the University of Sydney.

Please share it with your own personal bits of the internet, in the handy format of your choice:

Seven images, 700×700 pixels: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07
Seven images, 500×500 pixels: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07
Single image, 700 pixels wide

Accompanying links:

‘Co-payment will hit harder than expected, Sydney University study finds’ (Michelle Grattan, The Conversation)
A sister infographic by Beyond the Hedge; a result of the same collaboration. For those who like their graphicalised infos slicker, sexier, and sanser of googly eyes.

Dark Horse Presents #36

By Patrick Alexander

On May 23, 2014

In Uncategorised

The first picture is a peek at my four-page comic, Bunbun and Sadhead; the second is a peek at another four-page comic by me, Job Interview; and the third picture is the cover of Dark Horse Presents #36, IN WHICH THEY BOTH APPEAR, just as the volume itself appears this very moment in the racks or on the shelves of comic shops all across this ever-flatulating great brown earth.

Here is a review of the issue, which correctly highlights the magnificence of my contributions/centrepieces.

Oh hey look at that writing on the cover; look at those words, ‘Stan Sakai’ and ‘Jaime Hernandez’; yeah those guys are my colleagues I guess. Don’t make a big deal out of it though. Oh yeah, ‘Mike Mignola’, I guess he’s a guy who exists or whatever.

(Hey while you’re writing that comic shopping list, remember I have a PDF doodle book you can get, too.)

Patrick Alexander’s Enormous and Impressive Doodle Book

By Patrick Alexander

On February 20, 2014

In Illustration

I put together a big, fat sketchbook PDF, featuring 190+ pages of doodles, notes, sketches, drawings and miscellany, from 2009-ish to 2012-ish. You can buy it for a single god-fearin’ dollar at gumroad.

Featuring:

Raymondo Person wearing hats
Phrases of Power and Mystery (incl. MP3)
Margin doodles from university
Life drawings, too
A comic I drew on a box of asian groceries
An early, not-yet-Al-Hartley’d version of Charlie in Truth or Dairy
More than a few Garfields
Weird stuff I can’t explain easily
All known things in the cosmos

If you’re a fan of my work, including/especially the dodgy stuff, there’s something in here for you. If you want a better idea of what’s inside, I’m posting some of the contents under this ‘doodle-book’ tag on my tumblr.

Buy that for a dollar.

EDIT: Now you can buy it from sellfy, too, if you prefer to use paypal.

Dark Horse Presents #28

By Patrick Alexander

On October 6, 2013

In Uncategorised

mrs-plopsworth-title-web

Gosh! Dark Horse Presents issue #28 has been out for a couple of weeks, but I was too busy to post about it.

mrs-plopsworth-image-01

Anyway there’s an eight-page comic in it, by me, called Mrs Plopsworth’s Kitchen, and I think it’s one of the best comics I’ve ever done.

Some website called it “easily the highlight of the book”; some other website summarised it in a positive tone, thusly:

Patrick Alexander’s “Mrs. Plopsworth’s Kitchen” somehow manages to be adorable and disturbing at the same time, although words like “surreal”, “endearing”, “hilarious”, and “grotesque” could apply as well. As an added bonus, the story breaks part way through, with its second half finishing off the issue.

Wow! It’s accurate!

mrs-plopsworth-image-02

Buy it in a comics shop, if they have any copies left! Otherwise order it in? Or you can buy it digitally also, I believe. Or just borrow a friend’s copy or something.

You Can’t ‘Waste Your Vote’!

By Patrick Alexander

On August 18, 2013

In Uncategorised

Update, February 2019: The famous comic about Australia’s preferential voting system, starring Dennis the Election Koala and Ken the Voting Dingo, has been revised, updated, and completely redrawn in spectacular full colour! Please find it at its new home here.

This blog post will remain here, but if you’re looking for that comic and want to share it, please use the current version, not this one. Thank you!

Dark Horse Presents #26

By Patrick Alexander

On July 23, 2013

In Uncategorised

DHP-26-Steggy

Steggy Wilmot and Spimps are funny fellows indeed and feature in a new, four-page comic by me, called Steggy Wilmot and Spimps, and it’s by me, and it’s in Dark Horse Presents issue #26, which comes out July 24th, which is almost immediately. It looks like this:

DHP-26-cover

At least, I think Steggy Wilmot and Spimps is in this one. There’s definitely something by me, Patrick Alexander, in this issue, and if it isn’t Steggy then I can’t imagine what it is. It certainly isn’t Charlie in Truth or Dairy ’cause they rejected that one, and fair enough. Fair enough. Wow, look at that lady on the cover; I wouldn’t want to mess with her, hey! (She has guns.)

Tobias and Jube illustrations

By Patrick Alexander

On March 23, 2013

In Illustration

Some recent illustrations featuring valuable tween properties Tobias and Jube.

Here they are, facing off against ruthless capitalists El Bobba and Louie. This picture was done for a project; the kind that may never materialise.

And here they are again, representing friendship, in this 30th birthday present for fellow genius Rebecca Clements.