While you’re in a spending mood, it’s time to tell you about Squishbook, the best thing you can buy for a primary-school-aged child at this exact moment. (Or ‘elementary-school-aged’ for our toothy alien friends.)
Squishbook is half comics and half about making comics, with a whole extra half on top, of silly nonsense and thoughtful advice — occasionally a challenge to distinguish — all one hundred and fifty percent of it for CHILDS. Perhaps your childs, or any curious and creative childs you might be aware of in your vicinity. You can learn much more about it at the crowdfunding page beneath this link.
Erntnence Rotisserie-Ha’pennyworth’s Catalogue of Hats, which is two pages of very much what it sounds like
A drawing of a truly appalling unicorn, perhaps the worst yet, suitable for colouring in if you can choke back your vomit for long enough
Answers to children’s questions, for which the publisher (not me) is legally responsible
Blip Blop Chronicles, starring Li’l Atishoos — a four-page comic about the naughtiest child in the world furiously succeeding at it
Here’s a tiny bit of Blip Blop Chronicles for you, in both roughly pencilled and expertly inked forms:
Squishbook is partly funded by the City of Melbourne but partly funded by YOU, right now, as you head to the crowdfunding page and order some copies for all the children you can think of and also any Grown-Ups with a Sense of Wonder that you haven’t been able to rid yourself of socially.
The crowdfund ends in one week-ish (November 28th) and is already near its goal, but you know what? The print run actually costs twice as much as the goal! So if you can help to push the final total way past that goal, that would help to soothe David’s stress-related brain rash, I bet.
Will you still be able to order copies from the Pozible page after the crowdfund ends? I… I think so? I’m pretty sure yes you will. But if you are reading this in time, go and place an order now and get a cool thing for someone’s Christmas. “Ooh mama, it’s gonna be a zing-daddy boobly-o!” as the beloved carol goes.
Ever since Dennis and Ken slappo’d their way into Australian voters’ hearts back in 2013, those same besotted voters have been requesting a follow-up comic explaining the electoral system for the federal Senate, with its tentacle-long, bone-white ballots of terror. I’m happy to report that I managed to complete that comic in plenty of time for the election back in May, and you can read, download, and share it right beneath this link.
It was a huge amount of work to produce, and I did so with no sponsorship or outside support, because I like democracy and I wanted to help people. If that makes you want to click a Like button, try the Donate button instead, on my Ko-fi page! Yes, retroactively: even perhaps years after the fact, if that’s when you’re reading this. It’s like royalties! Go and donate! Yes, even if you’re not Australian! You think I don’t see you? I see you.
As for the international perma-meme that is Voting comic part 1, this year you might have seen it distributed in full-colour print alongside the campaign materials of Queensland Greens MP Michael Berkman and the teal candidate for Cowper, Carolyn ‘Caz’ Heise, as well as posted on the Facebook page of, uh, the Hunters and Shooters Society Australia. Can any doubt Dennis and Ken’s appeal across the entire spectrum of politics/sanity?
What this is is, I got really fed up with web two-point-oh, and sick of bloated-corpse wordpress too, and made a new, simple, easy blog (using publii) that I can post things on, when I make them! Comics, writing, illustrations, videos, whatever. Really tired of trying to keep up with social media websites as they rise and fall. Who has the time! Anyway add scrampbonk dot com to your bookmarks, or RSS feed if you’re on the cutting edge. Old Internet is still there, if we want it. Add me to your webring.
Getting serious with Ko-fi
I’m trying to gradually transition back to doing more creative work and personal projects, and the support of my… fans? Followers? Fellow weirdoes? — will be invaluable in making that possible, so I’ve been putting some time and effort into making my Ko-fi a worthwhile place to be.
You can now become a monthly member to enjoy my new work earlier than ordinary internet plebes, see works in progress and other weird scraps, and even receive the exciting Envelope of Wonder in your actual, touchable mailbox throughout the year, if you so desire.
Monthly membership is a really, really effective way to help me create more of the stuff that you love, now and into the future. The financial support is straightforwardly helpful, but also encourages and motivates me on a mental and emotional level too. It’s like… tangible proof that people believe in my work. Thank you!
But wait! Before you click that “SPEND ALL OF MY MONEY” button… what day is it today? Because if it isn’t yet January 8th 2023, there is a sale on right now. You can get twenty whole percent off everything in the shop, simply by visiting it via this link:
A short comic I made in 2007, now shared with the world 15 years later!
Take a dubiously educational journey of discovery with Mr Frisky and his susceptible pal Milkshake, as they venture into the wildest, weirdest places on Earth and look at fish.
SUITABLE FOR ALL AGES. A perfect no-reason-in-particular gift for friends, students or teachers, niblings, or any marine biologists you happen to know.
That’s right, I had a completed 20-page comic sitting around for 15 years that I just never found the right opportunity to publish in any way. But now you can buy it in a slim, attractively designed, beautifully printed volume, at, as I may have mentioned, my Ko-fi shop.
It’s a little slab of delightful giggles and you will enjoy it, as will everyone you know or will ever meet. Buy ten thousand!
If you’d like to read a little about the design process of the Mr Frisky book, I blogged about that here, and if you’d like to see some exciting unboxing photos of the real thing, take a look here. And while you’re in an ogling mood, cop a load of these:
Phwoar! Yeah, I understand, you want it! Go and get it. (And don’t forget, the checkout code “YOWZA20” gives a 20% discount until a week into 2023. Yowza!)
I want to make more books like this, so don’t hesitate to encourage me.
Well my friend, we are in hyaku pasento resonance on those matters: I want those very same things. Support me on Ko-fi and help to make it all happen.
By the way, don’t forget you can join my mailing list on this website’s Contact page. Right now I rarely use it, but it’s potentially a great way to stay up-to-date while circumventing the invented need for social media. I’ll at least use it for important announcements, so pop in your email address and you won’t miss out. I promise I am not well-organised enough to be annoying.
And hey, is there anyone reading this blog post who was alerted to it via RSS? Leave a comment! I’d love to know that people are still using that.
Insufficient Stories is the title I’ve given to a project I’ve been working on bit by bit, little by little, for a few years now. I started writing tiny little stories in my free time; they accumulated; I did some live readings; I kept writing them; and now I’ve made videos of them. I decided I would make these videos once I had 31 stories: one story each day for a whole month; like a Bible devotional but funnier. But after recording the videos I discovered I’d miscounted, so there’s 32.
The shortest of these stories is eight words; the longest is 1900-odd. In a slightly-more-than-a-month-long special event, they will be published on this website (with full text) and on my tumblr (video only), one story per day, starting January 12th and ending February 12th. (You could also follow along by subscribing to my youtube channel.)
I’m eager and excited to read these stories to you, in pre-recorded form! They are funny and weird and people like them, and at one point, I believe I may have written the most beautifully executed pussy joke in the history of the form. It’s pretty high-level but I’m confident that by the time we get there, you’ll be well convinced of my genius and, for that reason, paying close attention. If we work together we can pull it off I reckon. But just in case you’re not up to it, please share these videos with all your friends and followers. Let’s journey together into etc. etc.
Oh and even though it’s just videos of a dude sitting in a room, reading at the camera from a book, I expect to receive Insufficient Stories fan art before the slightly-more-than-a-month is out; I want to be quite firm about that from the outset, thank you.
Right now boasting a shitload of art prints, hopefully including all the pictures from recent-ish years about which you have said to me, “I’d love to buy a print of that.” But if not, please tell me what’s missing — I’ll clean it up and make it available. (This invitation includes comic pages too, not just illustrations.)
I can put these pictures on other products as well, like t-shirts, smartphone cases, wall clocks and so on, but they require a little extra design work, so if there’s something in particular you’d like to see, let me know.
The first picture is a peek at my four-page comic, Bunbun and Sadhead; the second is a peek at another four-page comic by me, Job Interview; and the third picture is the cover of Dark Horse Presents #36, IN WHICH THEY BOTH APPEAR, just as the volume itself appears this very moment in the racks or on the shelves of comic shops all across this ever-flatulating great brown earth.
Oh hey look at that writing on the cover; look at those words, ‘Stan Sakai’ and ‘Jaime Hernandez’; yeah those guys are my colleagues I guess. Don’t make a big deal out of it though. Oh yeah, ‘Mike Mignola’, I guess he’s a guy who exists or whatever.
(Hey while you’re writing that comic shopping list, remember I have a PDF doodle book you can get, too.)
Patrick Alexander’s “Mrs. Plopsworth’s Kitchen” somehow manages to be adorable and disturbing at the same time, although words like “surreal”, “endearing”, “hilarious”, and “grotesque” could apply as well. As an added bonus, the story breaks part way through, with its second half finishing off the issue.
Wow! It’s accurate!
Buy it in a comics shop, if they have any copies left! Otherwise order it in? Or you can buy it digitally also, I believe. Or just borrow a friend’s copy or something.
Update, February 2019: The famous comic about Australia’s preferential voting system, starring Dennis the Election Koala and Ken the Voting Dingo, has been revised, updated, and completely redrawn in spectacular full colour! Please find it at its new home here.
Steggy Wilmot and Spimps are funny fellows indeed and feature in a new, four-page comic by me, called Steggy Wilmot and Spimps, and it’s by me, and it’s in Dark Horse Presents issue #26, which comes out July 24th, which is almost immediately. It looks like this:
At least, I think Steggy Wilmot and Spimps is in this one. There’s definitely something by me, Patrick Alexander, in this issue, and if it isn’t Steggy then I can’t imagine what it is. It certainly isn’t Charlie in Truth or Dairy ’cause they rejected that one, and fair enough. Fair enough. Wow, look at that lady on the cover; I wouldn’t want to mess with her, hey! (She has guns.)
It’s been a while, but I’m back doing funny comics for Dark Horse Presents, and the first of this new batch, a 4-pager called Villainman, appears in ‘ish’ 22, OUT NOW at all respectable comic book shops.
The cover of issue #22 looks something like this:
I don’t know how they got the text to do that.
Hey hey! If the Caravan of Comics 2013 indiegogo campaign gets funded, I’ll be able to meet my editors at Dark Horse in person! And hopefully meet a bunch of other publishers and editors who might wanna give me work, too. Thanks to all who have supported us so far!
Dark Horse Presents issue #2 is now out in the wide world, available for legitimate monetary purchase or grubby-fingered browsing at all good comic shops, and probably most of the shit ones too. It features an eight-page comic by me, never seen before by mortal eyes and in sexy full colour, and featuring this little bastard:
THE WRAITH™ is back — and he’s back! Thrill yourself at the all-new, full-colour… oh, I said that shit already, didn’t I.
Dark Horse Presents issue #2 looks like either one of these. Personally I prefer the motorbike lady.
Also, THE WRAITH™ has top billing on the back cover, which is kind of rad. Especially if someone makes a mistake and shelves all the books facing down.
BUY OR LOOK AT NOW, and email the editors saying, “Heck, fellas, that Patrick Alexander sure is a hot dog. More of that shit, bitches! Yowza!”