Insufficient Stories by Patrick Alexander
Hitler had a kitten growing from the side of his neck. He poked at his Froot Loops lamely, unable to focus his thoughts.
“I have powers,” rasped the kitten. Hitler felt as though he was an inch away from the world; as though he had woken up and remained asleep. The kitten purred, but perhaps it was Hitler’s neighbour mowing the lawn.
The next day, Hitler was tending his vegetable garden and found buried treasure. He was rich forever! The kitten screamed inside his mind.