Frank the Sheep

Insufficient Stories by Patrick Alexander

Frank the Sheep

Frank was a sheep who lived on a hill. Each day he ate grass.

One day the grass politely asked him to stop it. But Frank did not comprehend language, and kept eating.

“Say ‘baa’ if you’re a dickhead,” said the grass.

“Baaaaaa!” went Frank.

The Man With a Face

Insufficient Stories by Patrick Alexander

The Man With a Face

“You ought to get that looked at,” said his doctor.

The doctor couldn’t look at it himself because he was blind, and he was blind because he had no face. “Why don’t you have a face?” asked the man.

“I’m afraid I’m symbolic,” said the doctor.

“You ought to get that looked at,” said the man.

The Night Spot

Insufficient Stories by Patrick Alexander

The Night Spot

He drained his glass, returned it to the bar with a confident-sounding clunk, and turned to meet her gaze. “So, Angela, do you have a boyfriend?”

She almost giggled. “No, I don’t.”

“Ha ha, I knew it!” he laughed. “You fat spaz.”

Harry Potter

Insufficient Stories by Patrick Alexander

Harry Potter

Harry Potter lived under the stairs. His aunt and uncle locked him there.

One day a wizard came for Harry. “Harry, you are special and have a secret!” he declared. “The secret is that you are really a puppy.”

The wizard turned Harry into a puppy forever.

His aunt and uncle had been trying to protect him.