Patrick Alexander's Personal Internet

poetry

Poetry of Motion

Nov 15th, 2011
by Patrick.
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Poetry of Motion
by Patrick Alexander 2004

I like farting; farting’s good.
I fart throughout the neighbourhood.
Each family waits on the grass
And cheers my farting as I pass.
The kids run up and ask for more:
“O farting man, whom we adore,
“Come in and fart our house to bits.”
“Fart off,” I tell the little shits.

Get Your Tamp On

Aug 12th, 2009
by Patrick.
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Let’s pretend that I released an album, with singles and everything. That would be a fun thing to pretend.

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Happy Birthday Shawn (2005)
DJ Unlikely Career Choice

DOWNLOAD (6.4 MB)

  1. Birthday Dirge (for Shawn)
  2. Red Panda! Red Panda!

After not so much ‘making a splash’ as ‘leaving a slight stain’ on the scene with his 199x track ‘Birdhouse on the Dole’, DJ Unlikely Career Choice defied critics, audiences and himself by disappearing from view before anyone had even noticed him. At last he returns with this only moderately intolerable single, ‘written’ and recorded in celebration of his friend Shawn’s 25th birthday. ‘Birthday Dirge’ redefines cacophony with its discordant bleeping, abrasive samples and headache-inducing repetitiveness, while ‘Red Panda! Red Panda!’ is like being repeatedly jabbed in the ribs with a stick – but only for as long as it lasts. Sure to be a hit in the emerging ‘deaf and/or senile’ club scene, Happy Birthday Shawn is an essential addition to any serious coaster enthusiast’s collection.

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Punch Those ******* (In The Motherfucking Crotch) (2006)
RUN.DLL vs. DJ Unlikely Career Choice

DOWNLOAD (13 MB)

  1. Punch Those ******* (In The Motherfucking Crotch) – RUN.DLL vs DJ Unlikely Career Choice
  2. Daytime (Patrick’s Going To Japan Mix) – Metzengerstein
  3. Punch Those ******* (In The Motherfucking Crotch) (Unplugged) – Livestock at Large

Songs recorded for the Fund Raisin CD — exporting Patrick Alexander to Japan.

Featuring Metzengerstein and Livestock at Large, neither of whom are me!

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Get Your Tamp On
Patrick Alexander and Friends

DOWNLOAD (37 MB)

Incorporating material from the Fund Raisin CD

  1. Nicholas Nickleby
  2. If You See A Sick Kid (Punch ‘Em In The Face)
  3. John Lennon
  4. Ukelele
  5. Meteos
  6. A Duet By Myself
  7. Punch Those ******* (In The Motherfucking Crotch)
  8. I bogging revere (spam #1)
  9. Traditional Chinese Song
  10. Red Panda! Red Panda!
  11. Margaret Thatcher
  12. Subliminal
  13. Whispering
  14. Fix your situation Gonzalo (spam #2)
  15. Song of Solomon
  16. Salami
  17. Fuck Me, I’m A Poet
  18. The Sign

FEATURING: Racism and misogyny! Poetry and spoken word! Music of sorts! Laffs!

Why do people ever let me have a microphone.