Patrick Alexander's Personal Internet

Poetry of Motion

Poetry of Motion
by Patrick Alexander 2004

I like farting; farting’s good.
I fart throughout the neighbourhood.
Each family waits on the grass
And cheers my farting as I pass.
The kids run up and ask for more:
“O farting man, whom we adore,
“Come in and fart our house to bits.”
“Fart off,” I tell the little shits.

The Raddest Drawing

For one of my drawing classes last semester (the wankier of two), the final project was this: start drawing on a big piece of paper, and keep going for 24 hours (cumulatively; not non-stop) — no erasing or correcting allowed. Mine actually took about 19 hours, but anyway, it’s brilliant and this is it:

CLICK-UPON FOR V. LARGE

And just for the heck of it, I’ve included three semesters’ worth of (mostly) life drawing and/or portraiture in the gallery below. These are the ones that didn’t get thrown out, which means I must like something about them, even though this sort of thing isn’t my forte. Maybe you’ll like something about them too.

Can’t Keep Johnny Down

Video created for a competition for my favourite band, They Might Be Giants. I made it in about two and a half to three weeks — from sketching ideas, to gathering materials, to constructing models and such, to filming, to editing and rendering. As you can see, I’ve extended the art-project-ness of it by creating some ‘promotional images’ as well. They are large and wallpaper-able.

The video was created with the generous help of my friend Rebecca Clements, who also took the photo below…

The gallery below includes the promotional images, plus three choice screenshots from the video (in full HD), and nine ‘behind the scenes’ sort of photos I took in a half-arsed attempt to document my process. It involved lots of paint, blu-tac, double-sided tape, and bits of coloured cellophane.

Dark Horse Presents #2

Dark Horse Presents issue #2 is now out in the wide world, available for legitimate monetary purchase or grubby-fingered browsing at all good comic shops, and probably most of the shit ones too. It features an eight-page comic by me, never seen before by mortal eyes and in sexy full colour, and featuring this little bastard:

THE WRAITH™

THE WRAITH™ is back — and he’s back! Thrill yourself at the all-new, full-colour… oh, I said that shit already, didn’t I.

Dark Horse Presents issue #2 looks like either one of these. Personally I prefer the motorbike lady.

"ADAMS'S"... oh dear.

Also, THE WRAITH™ has top billing on the back cover, which is kind of rad. Especially if someone makes a mistake and shelves all the books facing down.

BUY OR LOOK AT NOW, and email the editors saying, “Heck, fellas, that Patrick Alexander sure is a hot dog. More of that shit, bitches! Yowza!”

My dumb comics, in print!

Most things I do, I put on the internet. But here are some things other than those!

Hutcho-bites

I have an illustration in the back pages of the new edition of Ben Hutchings‘ truly exceptionally brilliant Lesson Master mini, which doesn’t seem to be available to buy in his internet shop at this exact instant, but I’m sure it will be before too long. In the meantime you can buy his other stuff; it’s all worth it. UPDATE: It’s there now!

You might particularly like to buy his big ol’ Tootleg Boy anthology CD, because I have an illustration in that, too! In full colour, even. Also because it’s a fucking masterpiece. (Ben’s CD, I mean. Not my illustration.) (My illustration is pretty good though.)

Tides of Hope

My friend Tim McEwen asked me, and many other talented Australian cartoonists (and possibly a few shit ones), to contribute to Tides of Hope, a special anthology to raise money for the Queensland Got Flooded and God’s Not Paying For It Fund, which I’m sure has a proper name that I could google very, very easily; it wouldn’t take more than ten seconds. Tides of Hope will be sold at the upcoming Supanova conventions in Melbourne and Sydney, for $10 a copy, every cent of which goes to the Aforementioned Fund. If they sell all 1000 copies, that’ll be $10,000 for Queensland, and we can all feel good about that.

My contribution to Tides of Hope is dumb as hell, which should surprise the opposite of as many people as the comic will delight and amuse, which is to say, respectively, no-one, and everyone.

Dark Horse Presents

Oh, gosh! I’m going to be published in the new Dark Horse Presents, from issue #1 and INTO INFINITYYYYY. Issue #1 comes out on April 20th, and will look, I’m led to understand, like this:

I think this is an early version of the cover design, before they added “FEATURING PATRICK ALEXANDER” in huge letters above the title.

This first issue has just a couple of Hilarity Comics you’ve already seen… but have you seen them ON PAPER?? Have you seen them alongside actual, proper comics by serious cartoonists like Frank Miller, Richard Corben, and Many Others, and giggled like a loon at how ludicrous it is, that I am in there — Patrick Alexander and his silly, poorly drawn farty blob-monsters. What’s he doing here? Who invited him?

Issue #2 will feature an eight-page gag comic by me, in sexy full colour, never before seen by human eyes. More about that closer to when it comes out — which is in June, I think.

Dark Horse Presents seems like it’s going to be slightly incredible, and I’m excited to be involved.

(Richard Corben is the guy who did the cover for Bat out of Hell.)

Another 25 Drawings of Raymondo Person Standing Next to Trees and Things and Waving at You

NEW, FREE PDF ART BOOKLET
HI-RES VERSION FOR SALE

Many of you, having donated to Raymondo Person in the past, will have in your electronic possession the PDF booklet 25 Drawings of Raymondo Person Standing Next to Trees and Things and Waving at You. Well, here’s the sequel! It’s a hundred times better than the original, and you don’t have to take my word for it, because it’s FREE, FREE, FREE! Click on the cover image to download it:

Down below, there is a PayPal donation button. For $2.50 (or more), you will receive the high-resolution version of Another 25 Drawings of Raymondo Person Standing Next to Trees and Things and Waving at You – it’s 400dpi, versus the free version’s 150dpi. Enjoy Raymondo’s standings and wavings in exquisite detail; print out your favourite drawing to pin on your wall, and have it not look like arse.

I don’t have a digital web shoppe set up just yet, so I’ll just be emailing these PDFs out. Please specify if the email address you’d like me to send the PDF to is different than the email address you use with PayPal. Also, bear in mind that it may take me a day or two to send the email. Thanks!

THE PAYPAL BUTTON

ANY QUESTIONS?

You can email or twoot me.

Q: Patrick, can I see some other of your artworks such as these ones??
A:
Certainly you may, both elsewhere on this website, and in my deviantart.com gallery.

Q: Heyyy, I wanted to buy some original art! Where’d it all go?
A: You had six months! TOO LATE, SUCKA!

Spectrum Spelunker background

As you may remember, an early version of Spectrum Spelunker was the second place winner in Eegra’s Game-Makin’ Shindig back in 2008. At the time, I offered to make a background for a future version of the game, which Tim Jenkins (the project’s coordinator) took me up on. Then, of course, I spent two years not doing it, until recently Tim got back to me with a deadline. That usually helps.

(Click on any of those for the full-sized version.)

Tim’s specifications were fairly simple: Three layers; layers must tile/repeat horizontally; fairly abstract; no solid black outlines; four different colour schemes if I could be bothered.

This background is for the ‘Time Attack’ mode, so I wanted to suggest the feeling of time passing, but not using cheap, trite images like clocks floating around or some such. (There’s an hourglass in there, but somehow I’ve forgiven myself.) I also wanted to do something clever with the game’s parallax scrolling. Hence, the phases of the moon passing through the ‘face’ of the central monolith, when the game is in motion. The monoliths themselves hopefully evoke something vaguely ancient and time-y, and at the same time, they might seem to resemble pendulums or other tiny, cog-like clock parts.

I haven’t actually seen my background in action, yet! When there’s a video available, I’ll update this post.

UPDATE: At last, the official trailer for Spectrum Spelunker. You can see my background in action, a bit, as well as all the other backgrounds, a bit.

You can buy the new version of Spectrum Spelunker at the Mac App Store, right now. I believe a Windows version is forthcoming! Stay tuned. There’s also a (quite sexy) soundtrack available here. I listened to the Time Attack music while working on the background. I also listened to empty-headed anime girls singing twinkly Sex Pistols songs. So… there you go.

National Young Writers’ Festival

National Young Writers’ Festival
30th September – 4th October 2010

If you’re going to be in Newcastle for NYWF, or one of the other ‘This is Not Art’ festivals, or if you, you know, live there, it seems reasonable to assume you might want to come to one of the events I, me, am involved in. They are…

  • going to be entertaining and/or fun
  • all on Friday October 1st, as it happens
  • these:

Staple Manor hosted by: Rebecca Clements and Patrick Alexander
Time: Friday 11:00am – 1:00pm
Venue: Staple Manor
The program will tell you something about ‘pulling up a cushion’ and hanging out with Rebecca and me in a vaguely creative way, but NO, in fact, we have something awesome planned: A COMIC-MAKING WORKSHOP/LESSON SOMETHING. Yes! You don’t need to know how to draw, nor will we be teaching anyone how to draw, so you don’t need to not know how to draw, either. What we hope to convey in this workshop, in the least prescriptive way possible, is how to put your pen down on a piece of paper and move it around and then have a comic. So come along and learn the anticlimactic secrets behind hit webcomics like Raymondo Person, KinokoFry, and Hilarity Comics! (Other cartoonists very welcome indeed.)

Microfiction Write Off
Time: Friday 2:00pm – 3:30pm
Venue: Royal Exchange
Live, competitive writing of tiny stories, hosted by me. Yesss, I get to be a game show host! From the program: “
Have you got a sharp mind and a quick pen? Can you create compelling characters and complex narratives in just a few sentences? Join 12Words and battle it out with on-the-spot micro narratives, judged by a live studio audience.” Sounds like a dang time!

Drawing Jam
Time: Friday 5:00pm – 7:00pm
Venue: Festival Club
That should say ‘Comics Jam‘ because that’s what it will be. If you come to Rebecca’s and my Staple Manor workshop, you can then come here and engage your sexy new comic-doing abilities, alongside actual geniuses such as me again, Rebecca Clements again, David Blumenstein, Christopher Downes, and Kirsten Reed, who is not a person known to me but I bet she’s brilliant.

Sketch the Rhyme
Time: Friday 8:30pm – 10:00pm
Venue: Festival Club
From the program: “An interactive hip hop gameshow where speed drawing meets rapping meets live hip hop beats. Artists sketch on paper that is filmed and projected live. Rappers freestyle about what the artists are drawing. The audience is invited to participate as the improvisation is structured into games.” Yeah, this is gonna be amazing.

*

Hmmm, I believe I will be tired by the end of Friday, yes.

Sound Club Sweet

Enjoy cute tune!
Use in your videogame!
Neko and wan-wan, hello!

[ DOWNLOAD .ZIP (37 MB) ]

Maybe not exactly a chiptune album, but a chiptune album in spirit. Cute, beep-boop-videogamey tunes that tell a story, possibly about the kitty and the doggie on the cover, but that’s up to you.

If you’re not downloading the .ZIP already… have a listen!

01 - Cooperation

02 – Daydreaming – with Rebecca Clements

03 – Where are we?

04 - Wandering and Wondering

05 - Everything Fits Together

06 - Death

07 - Mr Fun

08 - Für Rebecca

09 - Collaboration and Friendship – with Rebecca Clements

10 - Ready for Anything

11 - VICTOLY!

12 - The Journey Home

I wouldn’t mind terribly at all if the music of Sound Club Sweet compelled you, through tears of joy, to pay for it. If you enjoy it; if you find yourself listening to it more than almost never, please consider making a PayPal donation. (I suggest $5.00, but whatever’s good for you.) There’s absolutely no obligation, but it does help me to pay the bills and devote time to more entertaining projects like this one. Thank you!

Sound Club Sweet began in November 2009 as a handful of tunes created for the TIGSource.com ‘assemblee’ competition. I just created some music and threw it out there, for anyone to use in his or her game. In the same spirit, you are welcome and encouraged to use the music of Sound Club Sweet in your videogame, or any other project. Please ask for my permission first, but don’t worry — I’ll probably say yes. ‘Looping’ versions of all the tunes are available here: [ DOWNLOAD .ZIP (17 MB) ]

Relevant links:

Thank you! Have a cute time with Sound Club Sweet.

– Patrick Alexander (パッチ)

Donation Postcards

Recently, for a couple of months, I offered original, custom artworks to readers of Hilarity Comics who made PayPal donations to the site. And here they freaking are!

(I also added these to my deviantART gallery, with little descriptions that I couldn’t be bothered repeating here.)