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Insufficient Stories

Insufficient Stories is the title I’ve given to a project I’ve been working on bit by bit, little by little, for a few years now. I started writing tiny little stories in my free time; they accumulated; I did some live readings; I kept writing them; and now I’ve made videos of them. I decided I would make these videos once I had 31 stories: one story each day for a whole month; like a Bible devotional but funnier. But after recording the videos I discovered I’d miscounted, so there’s 32.

The shortest of these stories is eight words; the longest is 1900-odd. In a slightly-more-than-a-month-long special event, they will be published on this website (with full text) and on my tumblr (video only), one story per day, starting January 12th and ending February 12th. (You could also follow along by subscribing to my youtube channel.)

I’m eager and excited to read these stories to you, in pre-recorded form! They are funny and weird and people like them, and at one point, I believe I may have written the most beautifully executed pussy joke in the history of the form. It’s pretty high-level but I’m confident that by the time we get there, you’ll be well convinced of my genius and, for that reason, paying close attention. If we work together we can pull it off I reckon. But just in case you’re not up to it, please share these videos with all your friends and followers. Let’s journey together into etc. etc.

Oh and even though it’s just videos of a dude sitting in a room, reading at the camera from a book, I expect to receive Insufficient Stories fan art before the slightly-more-than-a-month is out; I want to be quite firm about that from the outset, thank you.

You can now buy prints.

URL tnj-tomo weh-line raym-treehouse raym-rainbow eegra-xmas

Truly announcing my deeply official society6 store:

Patrick Alexander Monetises His Assets!

Right now boasting a shitload of art prints, hopefully including all the pictures from recent-ish years about which you have said to me, “I’d love to buy a print of that.” But if not, please tell me what’s missing — I’ll clean it up and make it available. (This invitation includes comic pages too, not just illustrations.)

I can put these pictures on other products as well, like t-shirts, smartphone cases, wall clocks and so on, but they require a little extra design work, so if there’s something in particular you’d like to see, let me know.

So! This is nice.

PIN ME TO YOUR WALL.

Dark Horse Presents #36

DHP-36-Bunbun-and-Sadhead-web-preview DHP-36-Job-Interview-web-preview DHP-36-cover

The first picture is a peek at my four-page comic, Bunbun and Sadhead; the second is a peek at another four-page comic by me, Job Interview; and the third picture is the cover of Dark Horse Presents #36IN WHICH THEY BOTH APPEAR, just as the volume itself appears this very moment in the racks or on the shelves of comic shops all across this ever-flatulating great brown earth.

Here is a review of the issue, which correctly highlights the magnificence of my contributions/centrepieces.

Oh hey look at that writing on the cover; look at those words, ‘Stan Sakai’ and ‘Jaime Hernandez’; yeah those guys are my colleagues I guess. Don’t make a big deal out of it though. Oh yeah, ‘Mike Mignola’, I guess he’s a guy who exists or whatever.

(Hey while you’re writing that comic shopping list, remember I have a PDF doodle book you can get, too.)

Dark Horse Presents #28

mrs-plopsworth-title-web

Gosh! Dark Horse Presents issue #28 has been out for a couple of weeks, but I was too busy to post about it.

mrs-plopsworth-image-01

Anyway there’s an eight-page comic in it, by me, called Mrs Plopsworth’s Kitchen, and I think it’s one of the best comics I’ve ever done.

Some website called it “easily the highlight of the book”; some other website summarised it in a positive tone, thusly:

Patrick Alexander’s “Mrs. Plopsworth’s Kitchen” somehow manages to be adorable and disturbing at the same time, although words like “surreal”, “endearing”, “hilarious”, and “grotesque” could apply as well. As an added bonus, the story breaks part way through, with its second half finishing off the issue.

Wow! It’s accurate!

mrs-plopsworth-image-02

Buy it in a comics shop, if they have any copies left! Otherwise order it in? Or you can buy it digitally also, I believe. Or just borrow a friend’s copy or something.

You Can’t ‘Waste Your Vote’!

Dennis the Election Koala gives Ken the Voting Dingo an important lesson in civics!

Any time there’s a federal election approaching, you’ll see and hear Australians saying things like, “I’d like to vote for [Minor Party/Independent] but the most important thing is to keep [Major Party A] out, so I’d better vote for [Major Party B].” But this concern doesn’t apply in Australia; we have a more elegant voting system than that. We seem to have picked up ideas about “wasting your vote” from American TV shows or something.

So here’s a comic designed to clear up this common misconception and explain how preferential voting works! It’s four pages long — just the right size for a pamphlet. I’ve tried to make it non-partisan and future-proof, and you are encouraged to share it online and in print. Letterbox your street or apartment building, or hand out copies at a polling booth! Scroll down and you’ll find the comic in various formats for sharing and printing. (EDIT: Now including a ‘radio friendly’ version!)

web-500-cant-waste-vote-01 web-500-cant-waste-vote-02 web-500-cant-waste-vote-03 web-500-cant-waste-vote-04

For sharing on the web:

For printing and copying a pamphlet:

Make an A5 pamphlet by printing a double-sided A4 sheet and folding it in half. Print a few and letterbox your street or building — or copy a whole bundle and hand them out at a polling booth! Remember, photocopying’s free when you do it at work.

High resolution:

A4 pages, 300 dpi, aliased black-and-white. This is the size I drew them at, with my tablet. Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4

NEW!!! Radio-friendly version:

By popular request, I have created a ‘softer’ edit of the comic in order to make it as accessible as possible. This version contains no references to bums, farts, bastards, murder, babies or incest. (One funny cartoon animal still slaps another funny cartoon animal in the face though, because come on people.) If you had any reservations about sharing or letterboxing the comic, have them no longer!

  • 700 pixels wide, single image (radio edit)
  • PDF version (radio edit) — ready to simply print and fold
  • High resolution: Page 1 (radio edit), Page 2 (radio edit); Pages 3 and 4 required no changes

DECLARING MY INTERESTS: I’m a member of the Australian Greens — a minor party, how about that! But this comic is intended to be non-partisan and informative. In fact, the whole message of the comic is, you can and should vote for exactly who you want to! We’re fortunate to have preferential voting in Australia so we ought to understand how it works.

Creative Commons Licence
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Australia License, if you were wondering. I should reiterate that the third page was derived from an infographic on the PEO website under the assumption that they wouldn’t mind.

Dark Horse Presents #26

DHP-26-Steggy

Steggy Wilmot and Spimps are funny fellows indeed and feature in a new, four-page comic by me, called Steggy Wilmot and Spimps, and it’s by me, and it’s in Dark Horse Presents issue #26, which comes out July 24th, which is almost immediately. It looks like this:

DHP-26-cover

At least, I think Steggy Wilmot and Spimps is in this one. There’s definitely something by me, Patrick Alexander, in this issue, and if it isn’t Steggy then I can’t imagine what it is. It certainly isn’t Charlie in Truth or Dairy ’cause they rejected that one, and fair enough. Fair enough. Wow, look at that lady on the cover; I wouldn’t want to mess with her, hey! (She has guns.)

Dark Horse Presents #22

villainman-preview

It’s been a while, but I’m back doing funny comics for Dark Horse Presents, and the first of this new batch, a 4-pager called Villainman, appears in ‘ish’ 22, OUT NOW at all respectable comic book shops.

The cover of issue #22 looks something like this:

DHP-22-cover-villainman

I don’t know how they got the text to do that.

Hey hey! If the Caravan of Comics 2013 indiegogo campaign gets funded, I’ll be able to meet my editors at Dark Horse in person! And hopefully meet a bunch of other publishers and editors who might wanna give me work, too. Thanks to all who have supported us so far!

Dark Horse Presents #2

Dark Horse Presents issue #2 is now out in the wide world, available for legitimate monetary purchase or grubby-fingered browsing at all good comic shops, and probably most of the shit ones too. It features an eight-page comic by me, never seen before by mortal eyes and in sexy full colour, and featuring this little bastard:

THE WRAITH™

THE WRAITH™ is back — and he’s back! Thrill yourself at the all-new, full-colour… oh, I said that shit already, didn’t I.

Dark Horse Presents issue #2 looks like either one of these. Personally I prefer the motorbike lady.

"ADAMS'S"... oh dear.

Also, THE WRAITH™ has top billing on the back cover, which is kind of rad. Especially if someone makes a mistake and shelves all the books facing down.

BUY OR LOOK AT NOW, and email the editors saying, “Heck, fellas, that Patrick Alexander sure is a hot dog. More of that shit, bitches! Yowza!”

My dumb comics, in print!

Most things I do, I put on the internet. But here are some things other than those!

Hutcho-bites

I have an illustration in the back pages of the new edition of Ben Hutchings‘ truly exceptionally brilliant Lesson Master mini, which doesn’t seem to be available to buy in his internet shop at this exact instant, but I’m sure it will be before too long. In the meantime you can buy his other stuff; it’s all worth it. UPDATE: It’s there now!

You might particularly like to buy his big ol’ Tootleg Boy anthology CD, because I have an illustration in that, too! In full colour, even. Also because it’s a fucking masterpiece. (Ben’s CD, I mean. Not my illustration.) (My illustration is pretty good though.)

Tides of Hope

My friend Tim McEwen asked me, and many other talented Australian cartoonists (and possibly a few shit ones), to contribute to Tides of Hope, a special anthology to raise money for the Queensland Got Flooded and God’s Not Paying For It Fund, which I’m sure has a proper name that I could google very, very easily; it wouldn’t take more than ten seconds. Tides of Hope will be sold at the upcoming Supanova conventions in Melbourne and Sydney, for $10 a copy, every cent of which goes to the Aforementioned Fund. If they sell all 1000 copies, that’ll be $10,000 for Queensland, and we can all feel good about that.

My contribution to Tides of Hope is dumb as hell, which should surprise the opposite of as many people as the comic will delight and amuse, which is to say, respectively, no-one, and everyone.

Dark Horse Presents

Oh, gosh! I’m going to be published in the new Dark Horse Presents, from issue #1 and INTO INFINITYYYYY. Issue #1 comes out on April 20th, and will look, I’m led to understand, like this:

I think this is an early version of the cover design, before they added “FEATURING PATRICK ALEXANDER” in huge letters above the title.

This first issue has just a couple of Hilarity Comics you’ve already seen… but have you seen them ON PAPER?? Have you seen them alongside actual, proper comics by serious cartoonists like Frank Miller, Richard Corben, and Many Others, and giggled like a loon at how ludicrous it is, that I am in there — Patrick Alexander and his silly, poorly drawn farty blob-monsters. What’s he doing here? Who invited him?

Issue #2 will feature an eight-page gag comic by me, in sexy full colour, never before seen by human eyes. More about that closer to when it comes out — which is in June, I think.

Dark Horse Presents seems like it’s going to be slightly incredible, and I’m excited to be involved.

(Richard Corben is the guy who did the cover for Bat out of Hell.)

Another 25 Drawings of Raymondo Person Standing Next to Trees and Things and Waving at You

NEW, FREE PDF ART BOOKLET
HI-RES VERSION FOR SALE

Many of you, having donated to Raymondo Person in the past, will have in your electronic possession the PDF booklet 25 Drawings of Raymondo Person Standing Next to Trees and Things and Waving at You. Well, here’s the sequel! It’s a hundred times better than the original, and you don’t have to take my word for it, because it’s FREE, FREE, FREE! Click on the cover image to download it:

Down below, there is a PayPal donation button. For $2.50 (or more), you will receive the high-resolution version of Another 25 Drawings of Raymondo Person Standing Next to Trees and Things and Waving at You – it’s 400dpi, versus the free version’s 150dpi. Enjoy Raymondo’s standings and wavings in exquisite detail; print out your favourite drawing to pin on your wall, and have it not look like arse.

I don’t have a digital web shoppe set up just yet, so I’ll just be emailing these PDFs out. Please specify if the email address you’d like me to send the PDF to is different than the email address you use with PayPal. Also, bear in mind that it may take me a day or two to send the email. Thanks!

THE PAYPAL BUTTON

ANY QUESTIONS?

You can email or twoot me.

Q: Patrick, can I see some other of your artworks such as these ones??
A:
Certainly you may, both elsewhere on this website, and in my deviantart.com gallery.

Q: Heyyy, I wanted to buy some original art! Where’d it all go?
A: You had six months! TOO LATE, SUCKA!