You might be an Introvert if…

Do you spend more time on the internet than you should? Does the sudden brutal stabbing murder of a loved one give you feels? Can you remember at least one incident from high school that bothered you in some way? Relax; you’re not crazy — you’re an introvert! Welcome to the club!

Still not sure? Take a look at these telltale signs, compiled by someone who nearly looked up ‘introvert’ in a dictionary.

introvert-title

You read books

Only introverts know how to read. If you enjoy this quirky, archaic pastime, you might just be an introvert!

You go shopping by yourself

Sure, it seems pretty ‘weird’, but you can do without the normal entourage required to pop down the shops for milk and bread. You see a gang of twelve to fifteen fashionable kids crowded in the freezer aisle, gabbing into their mobile phones while all cooperatively picking up the same packet of frozen peas and placing it into their single shared trolley and think, “No thanks; I like cats!”

You like cats

Or dogs. Or one single dog. Anything mammalian, really, and birds too even. Most people punch a baby rabbit in the face every morning before breakfast, so if you see a baby rabbit and go, “Aw, so cute,” you’re probably an introvert.

You like to stay at home

Normal people literally explode if they stay in the same room for more than an hour, which is why they’re always dancing in the street, paragliding, swimming to the moon etc. If you get home from a hard day’s work and just want to relax on the couch with a hot cup of tea, guess what, you big ol’ introvert? That’s right it means you are one.

You’re intelligent, creative and thoughtful

Wouldn’t you know it, introverts are all of these! Heaps more than the average ‘popular’ moron.

You have a rich inner world

Your inner world is just so rich, what with all of your observations about things; it’s a pity most people are too busy going “Blah blah blah, shopping, television!” to notice. But someone willing to humbly defer to your hidden genius will discover that you are a brilliant conversationalist who knows about a band.

You need your quiet time and personal space

Extroverts sometimes run up to you, wild-eyed, and just start yelling; just “AAAAARGH!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!!!” at the top of their lungs, their face an inch away from your own. Most people would be like, “Who’s this sexy extrovert? I wanna get down with this person,” but an introvert like you is more likely to think, “Yikes! I’m uncomfortable.”

*

So if you’re an introvert, don’t worry! There are others like you, out there somewhere, suffering the same nearly-monthly indignity of someone saying, “Are you okay?” or “Wow, you came!” to them. Just remember: being an introvert makes you special and interesting, like a black or a gay. Let’s show some introvert pride!

One Reply to “You might be an Introvert if…”

  1. Very instructional Series, Patrick, was brought to my attention thru Parcel, were you also aware that far from being a prat that can’t stand having their time interrupted for even one second to speak to a human person, people that hate talking on the phone are simply introverts, and need even more space than the space given by the distance that makes phone calling necessary, and so that’s why I they don’t like to talk to mom on the phone.

    I read it on the buzz feed

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *