Patrick Alexander's Personal Internet

You can now buy prints.

URL tnj-tomo weh-line raym-treehouse raym-rainbow eegra-xmas

Truly announcing my deeply official society6 store:

Patrick Alexander Monetises His Assets!

Right now boasting a shitload of art prints, hopefully including all the pictures from recent-ish years about which you have said to me, “I’d love to buy a print of that.” But if not, please tell me what’s missing — I’ll clean it up and make it available. (This invitation includes comic pages too, not just illustrations.)

I can put these pictures on other products as well, like t-shirts, smartphone cases, wall clocks and so on, but they require a little extra design work, so if there’s something in particular you’d like to see, let me know.

So! This is nice.

PIN ME TO YOUR WALL.

You might be an Introvert if…

Do you spend more time on the internet than you should? Does the sudden brutal stabbing murder of a loved one give you feels? Can you remember at least one incident from high school that bothered you in some way? Relax; you’re not crazy — you’re an introvert! Welcome to the club!

Still not sure? Take a look at these telltale signs, compiled by someone who nearly looked up ‘introvert’ in a dictionary.

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You read books

Only introverts know how to read. If you enjoy this quirky, archaic pastime, you might just be an introvert!

You go shopping by yourself

Sure, it seems pretty ‘weird’, but you can do without the normal entourage required to pop down the shops for milk and bread. You see a gang of twelve to fifteen fashionable kids crowded in the freezer aisle, gabbing into their mobile phones while all cooperatively picking up the same packet of frozen peas and placing it into their single shared trolley and think, “No thanks; I like cats!”

You like cats

Or dogs. Or one single dog. Anything mammalian, really, and birds too even. Most people punch a baby rabbit in the face every morning before breakfast, so if you see a baby rabbit and go, “Aw, so cute,” you’re probably an introvert.

You like to stay at home

Normal people literally explode if they stay in the same room for more than an hour, which is why they’re always dancing in the street, paragliding, swimming to the moon etc. If you get home from a hard day’s work and just want to relax on the couch with a hot cup of tea, guess what, you big ol’ introvert? That’s right it means you are one.

You’re intelligent, creative and thoughtful

Wouldn’t you know it, introverts are all of these! Heaps more than the average ‘popular’ moron.

You have a rich inner world

Your inner world is just so rich, what with all of your observations about things; it’s a pity most people are too busy going “Blah blah blah, shopping, television!” to notice. But someone willing to humbly defer to your hidden genius will discover that you are a brilliant conversationalist who knows about a band.

You need your quiet time and personal space

Extroverts sometimes run up to you, wild-eyed, and just start yelling; just “AAAAARGH!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!!!” at the top of their lungs, their face an inch away from your own. Most people would be like, “Who’s this sexy extrovert? I wanna get down with this person,” but an introvert like you is more likely to think, “Yikes! I’m uncomfortable.”

*

So if you’re an introvert, don’t worry! There are others like you, out there somewhere, suffering the same nearly-monthly indignity of someone saying, “Are you okay?” or “Wow, you came!” to them. Just remember: being an introvert makes you special and interesting, like a black or a gay. Let’s show some introvert pride!

Medicare Co-payments Infographitoon

I collaborated with some fellow political tragics on this info-thing about the Abbott government’s proposed changes to Medicare and the pharmaceutical benefits scheme, based on this study from the University of Sydney.

Please share it with your own personal bits of the internet, in the handy format of your choice:

Accompanying links:

 

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Dark Horse Presents #36

DHP-36-Bunbun-and-Sadhead-web-preview DHP-36-Job-Interview-web-preview DHP-36-cover

The first picture is a peek at my four-page comic, Bunbun and Sadhead; the second is a peek at another four-page comic by me, Job Interview; and the third picture is the cover of Dark Horse Presents #36IN WHICH THEY BOTH APPEAR, just as the volume itself appears this very moment in the racks or on the shelves of comic shops all across this ever-flatulating great brown earth.

Here is a review of the issue, which correctly highlights the magnificence of my contributions/centrepieces.

Oh hey look at that writing on the cover; look at those words, ‘Stan Sakai’ and ‘Jaime Hernandez’; yeah those guys are my colleagues I guess. Don’t make a big deal out of it though. Oh yeah, ‘Mike Mignola’, I guess he’s a guy who exists or whatever.

(Hey while you’re writing that comic shopping list, remember I have a PDF doodle book you can get, too.)

Patrick Alexander’s Enormous and Impressive Doodle Book

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I put together a big, fat sketchbook PDF, featuring 190+ pages of doodles, notes, sketches, drawings and miscellany, from 2009-ish to 2012-ish. You can buy it for a single god-fearin’ dollar at gumroad.

Featuring:

  • Raymondo Person wearing hats
  • Phrases of Power and Mystery (incl. MP3)
  • Margin doodles from university
  • Life drawings, too
  • A comic I drew on a box of asian groceries
  • An early, not-yet-Al-Hartley’d version of Charlie in Truth or Dairy
  • More than a few Garfields
  • Weird stuff I can’t explain easily
  • All known things in the cosmos

If you’re a fan of my work, including/especially the dodgy stuff, there’s something in here for you. If you want a better idea of what’s inside, I’m posting some of the contents under this ‘doodle-book’ tag on my tumblr.

Buy that for a dollar.

 EDIT: Now you can buy it from sellfy, too, if you prefer to use paypal.

Dark Horse Presents #28

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Gosh! Dark Horse Presents issue #28 has been out for a couple of weeks, but I was too busy to post about it.

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Anyway there’s an eight-page comic in it, by me, called Mrs Plopsworth’s Kitchen, and I think it’s one of the best comics I’ve ever done.

Some website called it “easily the highlight of the book”; some other website summarised it in a positive tone, thusly:

Patrick Alexander’s “Mrs. Plopsworth’s Kitchen” somehow manages to be adorable and disturbing at the same time, although words like “surreal”, “endearing”, “hilarious”, and “grotesque” could apply as well. As an added bonus, the story breaks part way through, with its second half finishing off the issue.

Wow! It’s accurate!

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Buy it in a comics shop, if they have any copies left! Otherwise order it in? Or you can buy it digitally also, I believe. Or just borrow a friend’s copy or something.

You Can’t ‘Waste Your Vote’!

Dennis the Election Koala gives Ken the Voting Dingo an important lesson in civics!

Any time there’s a federal election approaching, you’ll see and hear Australians saying things like, “I’d like to vote for [Minor Party/Independent] but the most important thing is to keep [Major Party A] out, so I’d better vote for [Major Party B].” But this concern doesn’t apply in Australia; we have a more elegant voting system than that. We seem to have picked up ideas about “wasting your vote” from American TV shows or something.

So here’s a comic designed to clear up this common misconception and explain how preferential voting works! It’s four pages long — just the right size for a pamphlet. I’ve tried to make it non-partisan and future-proof, and you are encouraged to share it online and in print. Letterbox your street or apartment building, or hand out copies at a polling booth! Scroll down and you’ll find the comic in various formats for sharing and printing. (EDIT: Now including a ‘radio friendly’ version!)

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For sharing on the web:

For printing and copying a pamphlet:

Make an A5 pamphlet by printing a double-sided A4 sheet and folding it in half. Print a few and letterbox your street or building — or copy a whole bundle and hand them out at a polling booth! Remember, photocopying’s free when you do it at work.

High resolution:

A4 pages, 300 dpi, aliased black-and-white. This is the size I drew them at, with my tablet. Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4

NEW!!! Radio-friendly version:

By popular request, I have created a ‘softer’ edit of the comic in order to make it as accessible as possible. This version contains no references to bums, farts, bastards, murder, babies or incest. (One funny cartoon animal still slaps another funny cartoon animal in the face though, because come on people.) If you had any reservations about sharing or letterboxing the comic, have them no longer!

  • 700 pixels wide, single image (radio edit)
  • PDF version (radio edit) — ready to simply print and fold
  • High resolution: Page 1 (radio edit), Page 2 (radio edit); Pages 3 and 4 required no changes

DECLARING MY INTERESTS: I’m a member of the Australian Greens — a minor party, how about that! But this comic is intended to be non-partisan and informative. In fact, the whole message of the comic is, you can and should vote for exactly who you want to! We’re fortunate to have preferential voting in Australia so we ought to understand how it works.

Creative Commons Licence
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Australia License, if you were wondering. I should reiterate that the third page was derived from an infographic on the PEO website under the assumption that they wouldn’t mind.

Dark Horse Presents #26

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Steggy Wilmot and Spimps are funny fellows indeed and feature in a new, four-page comic by me, called Steggy Wilmot and Spimps, and it’s by me, and it’s in Dark Horse Presents issue #26, which comes out July 24th, which is almost immediately. It looks like this:

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At least, I think Steggy Wilmot and Spimps is in this one. There’s definitely something by me, Patrick Alexander, in this issue, and if it isn’t Steggy then I can’t imagine what it is. It certainly isn’t Charlie in Truth or Dairy ’cause they rejected that one, and fair enough. Fair enough. Wow, look at that lady on the cover; I wouldn’t want to mess with her, hey! (She has guns.)

Tobias and Jube illustrations

Some recent illustrations featuring valuable tween properties Tobias and Jube.

Here they are, facing off against ruthless capitalists El Bobba and Louie. This picture was done for a project; the kind that may never materialise.

Tobias and Jube - Rivals

And here they are again, representing friendship, in this 30th birthday present for fellow genius Rebecca Clements.

Tobias and Jube - 友だち

Dark Horse Presents #22

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It’s been a while, but I’m back doing funny comics for Dark Horse Presents, and the first of this new batch, a 4-pager called Villainman, appears in ‘ish’ 22, OUT NOW at all respectable comic book shops.

The cover of issue #22 looks something like this:

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I don’t know how they got the text to do that.

Hey hey! If the Caravan of Comics 2013 indiegogo campaign gets funded, I’ll be able to meet my editors at Dark Horse in person! And hopefully meet a bunch of other publishers and editors who might wanna give me work, too. Thanks to all who have supported us so far!